How to be a Good Syrian Daughter (Part 1)

Roll Grape Leaves

Step 1 - Mix ground lamb (raw) with rice (uncooked) and spices.
Step 2 - Rinse and gently unpack grape leaves.
Step 3 - Lay out a single leaf on kitchen table.
Step 4 - Take a small amount of lamb and rice mixture-about 1/2 tsp-and push it out to a long thin piece (think playdough snake).


Step 5 - Place lamb and rice at base of leaf.
Step 6 - Roll leaf once from bottom.
Step 7 - Fold in sides of leaves.
Step 8 - Continue rolling leaf tightly. (End product should be the size of a woman's pinky or ring finger.)
Step 9 - Repeat steps 3-8 until all leaves are rolled. Pack rolled grape leaves in a pressure cooker.
Step 10 - Cook for approximately 7 minutes with water and lemon juice.
Step 11 - Eat most wonderful food on earth.

Christmas Traditions

Can I just say . . .

Brunswick Stew on Christmas Eve - mmmmmmmm.
Ham and pecan pie on Christmas - mmmmmmm.
Pork tenderloin on Boxing Day - mmmmmmm. (Ok, Boxing Day is really tomorrow, but I'm anticipating the goodness.)

I'm glad there are twelve days of Christmas, because we get to keep on celebrating.

I didn't get a partridge in a pear tree today, but maybe tomorrow I'll get two turtledoves.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Done for the Semester!

Done for the semester - woohoo!

Headed home on December 20. Christmas in Columbia. I fear no Boxing Day for the second year in a row. Jacksonville post-Christmas, pre-New Years for Situ's 80th birthday/family portrait extravaganza where we will all look fat in khakis and white shirts. New Years in ???? Hopefully hanging out with friends somewhere on January 5.

Those are the plans. I'll keep you updated.

It's Christmas time in Oxford

It's Christmas time in Oxford. Actually, it's been Christmas time for some time now. The city decorated the main street in town (Lamar) before Thanksgiving and a full week before Thanksgiving at that.

It's Christmas time in Oxford, not any other holiday. No Hannukah (there's not even a synagogue in town). No Kwanzaa, season's greetings, or happy holidays. It's Christmas. After working for Tulane where there were little to no decorations during the holiday season, it's weird to be in a place Christmas celebrations are so obvious and blatant. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas decorations. They're pretty and they make me think it's more wintery than the 70 degree weather suggests. I just wonder what the Christmas decorations do to the people who don't celebrate the holiday. What do the people in Oxford who aren't Christian (what there are people who aren't Christians in Oxford? amazing, I know) or (gasp) are atheist think of the Christmas tree found on every other corner?

What does the prevalence of Christianity in the South mean to a town like Oxford? It means that come hell or high water there will be Christmas decorations on the square and the University of Mississippi will unapologetically decorate for the holiday without a second thought. Really, I'm not against the decorations. I just wish that a place so concerned with its image of exclusion might want to rethink its practice of blatantly doing so.

Dixie Continued

Wasn't I surprised when I got a copy of the Daily Mississippian and found an article about my blog. Well maybe, it's more about Dixie but whatever.

Dixie

Can I tell you how nice it is to go to a college football game where there a) is a mascot and b) its allowed on the field? I don't care what school it is, if there's a mascot, it's great.

On Saturday, I went to the Carolina-Clemson Game in Columbia with my mom. We had a mini picnic at Kate's apartment which is about as far away from the stadium as the width of the stadium.

Let me stop right here and discuss something: Williams-Brice Stadium is a little odd in comparison to other SEC stadiums. I don't mean the shape or capacity or anything like that. I mean its location. As far as I know, all other SEC football stadiums are on campus. Williams-Brice is not, which leads to unique tailgating. Every school brags about its tailgating and traditions; I am not doing that here. The placement of Williams-Brice caused numerous open areas to transform into massive parking lots, and not just any parking lots, but premiere parking lots. A sign across the street proclaims "Condos available. Gameday parking beginning at $20,000." $20,000 for a parking space!!! That a concrete rectangle is for sale for a minimum of $20,000 baffles me, and those aren't even the most expensive ones. There are fenced in parking lots with a pavilion or stage where bands play before the game. The crazy thing is (besides the fact that people pay 7 figures for a parking spot) that the owner also has to pay a property tax on the concrete rectangle. I do understand that at other SEC schools people pay high sums to park on campus next to the stadium as well, but here is the difference: on a college campus there is only so much space designated to parking and only so much space a school is willing to give up for parking. Because the stadium isn't on USC's campus, there's no limit to how many parking lots and game condos can be built. They just keep moving further and further out. Anways, I just needed to declare my bafflement with the idea. (I must admit that the Cockabooses are pretty awesome though.)

Ok, now that I got that out of my head . . . As my mom and I left Kate's apartment, we noticed a plane with banner flying around the stadium. It took me about a minute to figure out what was on the banner: a Confederate flag and the words "LET THE BAND PLAY DIXIE." My mom and I stopped in our tracks. Let me get one thing clear--I go to a school where the band plays Dixie in the stadium (technically is From Dixie with Love which combines Dixie with the Battle Hymn of the Republic). I understand the importance of tradition, which is why I tolerate it when I go to games at Ole Miss; I know the University of Georgia plays it, and I'm sure other schools as well. However, I don't think that a school that has no tradition of playing the song really ought to play it especially in connection with the Confederate flag as the person who sponsored the banner thought it should be. Let's face it, Dixie (the song) and the Confederate flag brig up connotations of the Civil War. And what does the Civil War bring up? That's right, slavery. You can argue all you want about states rights and what have you, but it boils down to slaves as property and southern whites wanting to take their "property" wherever they wanted. Anyways, in my humble and unasked opinion it is in poor taste for the University of South Carolina band to play Dixie in the stadium. There's no precedent - why start now and tarnish the school's image?

Two things, completely unrelated, just real quick.

1) I've realized over the last few years that I hate large crowds of people. Inside, outside, wherever: I am not a fan. I've been on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras twice in my life. The second time, I cried. Standing on a balcony yelling at the people below was fine, but when I actually had to go down to the street it wasn't nearly as exciting. Not that I thought it would be. Pushing my way through screaming fans to be at the front row of a concert is not my idea of fun, and there is no way in hell you will find me at Times Square on New Year's Eve ever. EVER. I don't have social anxiety. In fact, I love going out. I just despise being crammed with belligerent people somewhere. Ok, enough on that subject.

2) I am a proponent of talking things out with someone no matter what the circumstances. Things might not go according to your plan, or the outcome might not be what you expect, but it's always the best course of action. It's also the adult thing to do. Uncomfortable situations do not just become comfortable without discussion. Granted, I do not always follow my own advice, but I try. I also suggest it to others - the sooner the better. Is there ever a good time to tell a loved something that will hurt? Of course not, but the sooner he or she knows the sooner he or she can make steps to move forward. Then again, maybe it's something good. Do you really want to wait until it's too late to tell someone you love them? Doubtful. Does it hurt when the reaction you receive isn't what you wanted? Sure, but you'll get over it sooner or later and at least you'll know. Whatever it is. You'll know.

Geaux Gamecocks?

So blah, blah, blah lots has happened since I left New Orleans at the end of the summer, but this is not a recap. Wedding (not mine), move (mine), new job, classes - yada, yada, yada - if you want to know more call me, now onto the topic at hand.

The 2007 football season began last weekend for college and Thursday night for NFL. Be forewarned, I am not a football fanatic. I do not know NFL or college trivia. I cannot tell you who won the championship game five years ago or even who won all the games in a single week. I do, however, follow two particular teams: the South Carolina Gamecocks and the New Orleans Saints. In the grand scheme of things these two particular teams are awfully difficult to support, but alas, I do.

Growing up in Columbia, I was inundated with everything Carolina - just not by my family mind you. I was in high school when the the gamecocks were 0-11. That's right, zero wins. I really cared little about what went on, but then I moved away. Not only that, but then they actually won a few games. Anyways, I am now a Carolina fan. Don't hate me; it's not like I jumped on the other USC's bandwagon. I still do not know trivia about the team, but I do my best to follow them from week to week. It helps that my sister is a student athletic trainer, diligently working day in and day out with the team. (I get to the hear the random little stories about which player did that and who said what - you know, the funny stuff.) From what I am told, this season looks to be an exciting one for the Gamecocks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. We're 2-0 at the moment, and today's win is pretty exciting. I must admit that I was really looking forward to today's game. I worked all day until 5 and so missed any chance of groving (that's Ole Miss speak for tailgating). I wasn't really in the mood for a massive crowd anyway, so I went to a bar to watch the game since I don't have tv (I know it's sad, but that's another story). I searched my phone for people who might be watching the game somewhere, but no such luck. Instead, I watched the game with the bartenders and the five other people that happened to be at City Grocery at the time. Amazingly, I was content at the bar with only myself and football. I'm not sure if today's adventure proves that I'm a Gamecock fan or that I have a drinking problem, but I'm hoping it's the former. Besides, I only had four beers and walked away with a $9 tab so that's not bad. Oh, did I mention I made friends with the newest bartender there? Thanks, Peyton. Back to football. So congratulations Carolina - you boys made me watch through my fingers for the last five minutes of the game, but I'm glad you won. I was hoping this year was the year of the Rooster in the Chinese calendar, but no such luck. Y'all are going to have to pull off a winning season without Chinese astrology. I have faith.

Speaking of faith . . . oh, those New Orleans Saints. They really do drag their fans through the mud. Again, I'm not a lifelong Saints fan. I don't know who played on the 1982 team, but I do know that Drew Brees is hot. Just kidding (sort of). Last season was amazing. Really, it was. This season has started off not so hot. In fact, it was pretty brutal. I suppose losing to the previous season's Superbowl champs is ok, but it could have been at least more of a fight. It was still fun to go and watch it. I watched the Saints game at a bar too, but at least I was with other people for that one. In two weeks I'll be in the Superdome, cheering the Saints on to victory. I'm excited, and I have faith. That'll be fantastic football frenzy weekend - Ole Miss/Florida game here in Oxford then down to New Orleans for the Saints/Titans game. I'm super excited. Good games, good people, good times.

Here's to hoping USC will keep the momentum they have and keep moving in the right direction and the Saints will find their stride again this season. Do I see a Sugar Bowl and Superbowl win for these teams? Eh, let's not get too ahead of ourselves.

A bit of perspective

Riding back from Tennessee in a charter bus, I noticed something outside my window. Help. It was on the roof of an apartment building next to I-10 in New Orleans East. Help. Tears fell.

Some of you already know this, but sometimes I fear that I talk about Katrina too much. For a while I was afraid I would end up like a war veteran who does nothing but talk about his experience while everyone else calmly placates him. Maybe I still will some day, but for now I'm ok with it, because I figured out why. Everyone in New Orleans has a storm story. Everyone still deals with it daily. "We just got our Road Home money," a friend excitedly told me the other day at work. In New Orleans, it is impossible not to talk about Katrina daily. We even have different names for it - Hurricane Katrina, the Hurricane, the Storm, Katrina. It's also a reference in time, pre- and post-Katrina. "Dammit, why is Blockbuster closed? It's only 10 o'clock." It's because of the Storm.

There's still a lot of damage in this city that I haven't even seen. The only time I tried to go to the 9th Ward I made Erich go with me. I'm not sure we ever got there, but honestly it's probably better that way. I don't think I could handle it. Adam and Becca wanted to see the 9th Ward a couple of weekends ago, and I wanted to show them, but I couldn't. I still don't want to see. I showed them Lakeview instead. At least there's progress in Lakeview.

I know now that I don't talk about it any more than any other person living in the city. It's just that when I leave go to wherever, no one else talks about it. I am the lone voice. But I hope that my experience helps others understand and gives them a bit of perspective.

You Gotta Have Faith

You Gotta Have Faith" - at least that's what New Orleans Saints fans say. The problem is, I'm not sure I have any, and I'm not talking about faith in the Saints. I would venture to say most people question their faith and belief in God at some point in their lives. Even if it's to ultimately decide that they don't believe in God. And you know what? That's fine. You have to find what works for you. I have a different sort of connundrum.

I am what some call a cradle Episcopalian, baptized at the ripe old age of "not even able to walk yet." Growing up, I went to church every Sunday with my family, attended Sunday school, sang in the choir, acolyted, joined youth group, and even did the Wednesday night church service thing, not to mention went to an Episcopal school with chapel once a week. Looking back, I was very involved with church, however, I never had a strong faith in God. In fact, I'm not sure I even believed the words I learned and said at the services. I simply went through the motions. My guess is that a lot of people go through the motions at church, but here's the difference - My dad's going to be a priest.

During my freshman year of college, my dad told me he was thing about it. I knew he was unhappy at work, but I thought a change in career would be software sales to business consulting or even teaching. Becoming a priest was not in my realm of thought. Before Thanksgiving my senior year in college, my dad left his job where he made more money than I will ever make. (I'm not dissing my abilities, I'm just not going into a money maiking field - I'm southern studies, remember?) When I started working, my dad started school. In May 2007, he graduated with a Master of Divinity from General Theological Seminary in New York. A week later, he was ordained a deacon (think priest intern). After he works at a church for six months to a year, he will be ordained a priest.

That's all fine and dandy for my dad, and I really am happy and excited for him, but it leaves me in a weird spot. All of a sudden, more eyes are on me. During the ordination, my dad was charged with being an "example" and making his family an "example" too. I realize that being an adult changes things for me than if I was younger, but it's still different now. And uh, hate to break to to everyone but I'm not a very good example. I'm not even very sure of the status of my faith and beliefs. I believe there is a GOd, but I'm not sure of much beyond that. I know what I'm supposed to believe but that just makes things harder. Basically, I'm just very confused, and I don't know.

Discombobulated Thoughts

Be forewarned: there's a religion blog coming soon. Don't worry. It's not this one, but it's coming. My thoughts just aren't in order yet.

After flying around for a few weeks, I finally landed in New Orleans where I will be working for the next two months. The internship I wanted for the summer fell through (bleh). I suppose it's not the end of the world, but I'm definitely going with my gut when it comes to ominous feelings at least for the next little bit. I'm three for three in 2007 - maybe even four.

Anyways, I suppose not having an internship works better financially because now I will be working five days a week instead of four. (Yay for money!) I'm back at Reily for the summer (I know, I know - don't say it). Notice I said Reily, not Ripples. Even though I was explicitly told I would only do camp while I am here, and even though my coworkers were told I would only do camp while I am here, I think we all knew that wouldn't be the case. (Like I said, I just need to follow my instincts.) It took 2 1/2 days, which is more than I though it would, before my first Reily, i.e. non-camp, assignment came across my desk. Whatever. I knew it would happen. It only took ten minutes anyway. The assignment itself, however, was the interesting part. Well, insightful part.

So it's hurricane season - duh. My boss wanted me to incorporate part of our departmental Hurricane Plan into the Student Affairs spreadsheet - you don't care about this part, I know. Just bear with me for a second. The departmental plan outlines who is supposed to a) check-in students boarding buses for evacuation, b) prepare Reily for the impending storm - put stuff inside, take down windscreens, etc., and c) return first after the storm passes to get everything back to normal. Most full time staff members are either B or C with some doing A and B. Guess whose name is on the top of the list. Yup, that's right. Mine! What the Hell?! I'm just supposed to do camp this summer. My hurricane plan was to run like the wind, not check in students and prep Reily (yeah, I got A and B). I'm not working full time anymore either. Sure, I'm working a full time work week, but I'm still a part time employee. Bleh.

In other news of Thursday (it was a long day - I was there 12 hours) . . . I saw an old friend that will be working Ripples again this summer. When I say old friend with regard to this person, I mean old as in used to be but no longer my friend. Long story short, we were good friends, very good friends a few years ago. There was a disagreement, and then I was not talked to again. Not even looked at. Completely ignored for 2 1/2 months. Finally we talked, but we never recovered. My senior year in college I asked, "Will you still be my friend when I'm poor and working at Reily?" The original answer of yes eventually defaulted to no. It doesn't hurt anymore, but it did. Now we only talk when we see each other during camp about camp. It's sad. FYI - the easiest way to hurt me is to not talk to me. I don't mean fall out of touch, because that happens. I mean not talk.

Anyways, I'm staying with Ardyn this summer, so that will be fun. A few friends are coming to town later in June - one who used to live here and others who I get to tour around. I'm excited. I'm forming a list of where I should take them. Suggestions are welcome.

Good job if you stuck around to the end. I just need to get some discombobulated thoughts out of my head.

One down, one to go

A little over a week ago I finished my first year of grad school - yay, go me! It's really not all that impressive, but it means I've continued with my life plan. By the way, my life plan ends in May of 2008. I don't mean my life will end in May 2008, just what's planned out thus far. May 2008 will be a smack in the face of reality for the most part. We'll see how that goes. Anyways, back to me (hehehe, it is my blog after all) and my first year of grad school.

Well, I survived living in the middle of nowhere. When I finally got adjusted, it was time to leave again. I'm working in New Orleans for the summer. I've already received tons of flack for going back, so please don't comment on it. Just know it's definitely a good thing. I need to get away for a bit, and for the summer, New Orleans is away. Yeah, I'll be underappreciated and underpaid, but at least I'll be somewhere instead of an hour from somewhere being underappreciated and underpaid. Don't worry, I'll be back in the middle of nowhere soon enough and up to the same antics. I just really need a Target (mall, Whole Foods, etc) within 10 minutes for a couple months. Ooh, and bars that don't close at midnight and gas stations that sell cold beer and liquor. (I promise I'm not an alcoholic.)

Back to grad school again. (I don't have to worry about papers right now, so I'm writing without focus.) I ended the year with a solid 3.5. The first semester was a little rocky after being out of the game for two years. During the second semester, I had the worst professor in my entire academic career. Seriously. I learned a lot. I talked a lot. I listened a lot. I grew a lot. I'd like to say I changed a lot, but I don't think I did. I have become more self-aware though which I think is the beginning of change. I definitely need to change a few things about myself. I'm working on them, but it's not easy and I am not a patient person - Maybe that's something I should work on ;-)

I don't think I've really written anything here today. Whatever. My dad graduated from General Theological Seminary on Wednesday and will be ordained a deacon in Columbia next Saturday. More on that later - there's all kinds of discussions there.

And then . . .

And then to add to the excitement of the week . . .

Storm season began early.

Andrea

Experiences i n the Middle of Nowhere

Over the past several months, I have tried to embrace my surroundings. Sometimes I am not successful and succumb to the boredom of life in a small town. I am still transitioning to life in small town Mississippi but having found a great group of friends has definitely helped. Anyways, back to embracing my surroundings . . .I have been trying to find things in and around the middle of nowhere that I have never had the opportunity to experience. A few months ago I attended the Miss Ole Miss Pageant. (Technically, it's called Miss University, but I like Miss Ole Miss better.) Never having been to a pageant, it was definitely an experience. The place was packed, and Miss Mississippi who had just finished in the top 5 at Miss America was there to help crown Miss Ole Miss. It was definitely an experience I had not had the pleasure of knowing prior to living in the middle of nowhere.This past weekend was another one of those experiences. I traveled with some friends to the Mississippi Delta. For those who don't know much about the Delta, let me give you an idea: flat farmland, extremely rural, generally poor, and historically racially segregated (think Emmet Till for all you who know your civil rights history). Pretty much, when the average person thinks Mississippi, they probably are thinking of the Delta. It is beautiful and sad place all at the same time.

This trip to the Delta did have a specific purpose and destination in mind: Belzoni - the catfish capitol of the world and self proclaimed "Heart of the Delta." You're probably asking yourself why a group of grad students would travel to the Delta, and you'd be partially be right if you guessed it was to see where all the history we'd been reading about actually took place. However, this particular weekend it was also to enjoy the Catfish Festival. It was definitely a good time. We got to eat some catfish, see the crowning of Miss Catfish 2007 (Miss Catfish 2006 was prettier though), and get our picture taken with Captain Catfish. Unlike the Ponchatoula Strawberry Festival which is one of my all time favorite festivals, there was not any catfish (or strawberry) beer or jam, but I did get boiled peanuts. Delicious. After we'd gotten our fill of the Catfish Festival, our trek continued on into the Delta.

From Belzoni, Cleveland was the next stop: home to Delta State University and the Fighting Okra. I really wanted a Fighting Okra t-shirt, but alas the bookstore was closed. While I could find an Ole Miss t-shirt at the local sporting good store, I could not find a Fighting Okra shirt there nor at Wal-Mart. Damn.Next stop on the whirlwind tour of the Delta: Clarksdale. Although the Juke Joint Festival was going on, we decided to save that for next year and just get some of President Clinton's favorite tamales. Little known fact - the Delta is known for it's tamales. I know I never knew that before moving to Mississippi. There's even a Tamale Trail. Crazy, I know.

And so ended my Mississippi Delta day, but not the adventures for the weekend. The Student Programming Board sponsored a step contest, wing-eating contest, and a performance by Nappy Roots on Sunday night. Does anyone else see the irony in all that? While I didn't stay for the wing-eating contest or the concert, the stepping was pretty fun to watch. It was probably the whitest step show ever considering it had Ole Miss sororities doing choreographed booty dances, but the fraternities and sororities that actually knew what they were doing were awesome.

And thus ended my weekend. Did I mention it was my birthday? Pretty good birthday weekend, dontcha think? Check out picasa for pictures.

Extreme Square Dancing

Summer 2005 - I went to family reunion for the Bishop side of the family a beautiful resort in New York (not the city) called Mohonk. Apparently one of my mom's uncle's has some money and he footed the bill for about 50 people - rooms, food, you name it. The place is absolutely beautiful and reminds me of one of those resorts they have in movies like Dirty Dancing (don't mock my choice of comparisons, please). There's a lake, hiking, horseback riding, etc. There was not a television nor a clock in any of the rooms, so it was definitely a remote few days, but well worth it.

Different nights resulted in different entertainment. One night there was a card tournament, one night a showing of "Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events," and one night square dancing. I hadn't had the "pleasure" of square dancing since 9th grade on a school trip to Eagle's Nest. Every trip from 5th grade through 9th grade included square dancing. Camp Greenville, the Barrier Island trip, Earthshine, Camp Chosatonga, and Brassville - all of them included a night of square dancing. I suppose I appreciated square dancing more this particular time, but it still wasn't high on my priority list of things to do. That being said, my dad insisted I square dance. I was the partner my dad swung and do-si-doed. I must admit it was fun, until we had to sashay . . .

The caller told us to form two lines: men on one side, women on the other. As I stood across from my dad, the first couple sashayed down the aisle. Down and up and around to the end. Next couple. Couple after couple sashay, finally my dad and I reach the front of the line. We sashay down aisle no problem. We begin our dance back up when my dad screams in agony. He starts yelling that someone kicked him in the back of the leg and hobbling on one foot. The dancing stops. People gather around. The doctor is called. Kate, not a doctor but close enough as far as my family is concerned, quietly assesses the situation. My dad has not, in fact, been kicked in the leg. He has torn his Achilles tendon. Needless to say, that ends the night. My dad is in extreme pain and nothing can be done. We are further in the middle of nowhere than I am in Mississippi. There's also two days left of our vacation. After being asked multiple times what has happened to his foot, my dad decides that the best response is extreme square dancing and explains that I threw him down the aisle. The day after my parents get back to Columbia, my dad has surgery.

Fast forward to March 2007 - I go to my cousin Jinny's wedding. My family is there. After my parents danced to a few songs (they can really cut a rug) my dad grabs me to dance. It's our first dance since the night of extreme square dancing. We dance, we twirl, and we sashay just for fun. My dad and I laugh at our little scene; my mom is not as amused. She shakes her finger at us to make us stop.

This is one of a lifetime of memories that I hold dear.

5 seconds before I threw him down the aisle.

Lent

Yesterday was Mardi Gras - woohoo! (It's the first time I haven't been to a Mardi Gras parade in seven years, but that's another blog.) For those heathens out there that read my blog on occasion, let me give you a little insight. Mardi Gras, a.k.a. Shrove Tuesday, is an important day in the Christian church. To make a long story short, it's the day that all Christians are supposed to get the fat out of their houses, hence Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday). The reason we get all the fat out of our homes and party it up like fools during Carnival and parades is because the day after Mardi Gras is Ash Wednesday. Without getting too churchy, just know that Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent (the 40 days and nights before Easter EXCLUDING Sundays). Yada, yada yada. Ok so, during Lent it is common practice to give something up that is a part of your regular life or to take something on that's not usually part of your regular life. While there is some dispute, I am of the group who say that you can give up your Lenten discipline on Sundays - it saves me.

In past years, I've given up meat. One year it was diet coke, which was extremely difficult as I am addicted to diet coke - thank God for Sundays. When I was younger, my parents attempted to make me and my sister give up television - that did not work, because they didn't want to give it up either. Anyways, now we're onto 2007. So for Lent this year, this kid is giving up alcohol. That's right, alcohol. No liquor, beer, malt beverages, or what-have-you, until Easter (except for Sundays and since I'm living with Blue laws again that'll be difficult to find).

So support this kid, i.e. me, on her endeavor. I'll need it.

Peanut Butter

Grrr . . . I had to throw out my peanut butter because mine was one of the jars recalled. Not that I eat lots of peanut butter, but now I really really want to. Kind of like when I couldn't eat spinach because of e. coli.

Man, I really want a peanut butter and honey sandwich. Mmm, peanut butter and banana too.

I'm switching to Jiff just to be safe.

Cell Phone Etiquette

Some of you may not remember this, but in the not so distant past there was no such thing as a cellular telephone. Amazing, I know, but true. Less than twenty years ago, cell phones as we know them today did not even exist. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, phones permanently installed in cars began cropping up. These new fangled gadgets, however, were few and far between and mostly used by the rich business class. As the technology advanced, car phones were replaced by cell phones and the price dropped dramatically. Today, it is hard to find someone without a cell phone. It is not "cool" to have a cell phone. One's cell phone status is now seen in the phone he or she owns and features employed, not simply the owning and using a cell phone. But I digress.

With the privilege of using a cell phone (note I did call it a privilege) comes the required use of cell phone etiquette. Most of it is common sense, but that does not mean that the majority of people actually follow it. Here are a few rules that you should learn to live by.

1. Cell phones are not clunky pieces of equipment anymore. Most are highly sophisticated miniature computers. That being said, you don't need to yell in them to have a conversation. You don't even need to talk loudly unless standing by a heard of elephants. I am sure your partner doesn't want me to know the intimate details of your sex life nor do you want me to know the test results from your latest doctor's visit, so please don't advertise them to me. I will judge you and tell all of your friends and mine.

2. While with a group of people, be they friends or foes, it is inappropriate to hold a conversation with another person via talking or texting. For example, when out to dinner with friends, do not text other friends. It shows that a) I waisted my time trying to be social with you, b) you obviously do not want to spend time with me, and c) you are rude. If you there is an emergency and you must answer your phone, please excuse yourself and return promptly or leave. If you do have a conversation with another while with me, I will call you out on it.

3. At public performances, cell phones are not to be used. Public performances include but are not limited to movies, concerts, theatrical performances, and even beauty pageants. Turn it off or to silent and leave it. If you stay away from someone for two or three hours, do not come and ruin my experience. It is inexcusable for one to answer a phone during a performance - do not do it or I will beat you. Texting even when your phone is silent is not allowed either. Most performances occur with the audience sitting in the dark. You will blind me as well as distract me if you open your phone to look at a text or send one. Even if you are an owl who can see in the dark and your cell phone doesn't light up some how, I will still hear the clicking of you punching buttons. If you sit near me, I will politely tell you to stop. If you do not stop, I will tell the usher or management. Do not ruin my experience, even if that experience is watching pageant girls with big hair strut across a stage.

4. Cell phone use is not allowed in the classroom. If I am running the class, I will take it away from you and give you a 0 for the day. If I am sitting next to you I will glare at you and loudly ask you to stop so that the instructor will hear. This also includes yoga and pilates classes where you are supposed to be calm. If your phone does ring, attend to it immediately.

5. Do not text while driving, and please limit your talking while driving. On a relatively recent episode of Mythbusters, they discovered that talking on a cell phone while driving is equivalent to driving while drunk. If you don't watch Mythbusters, you should.

6. Be wary of obnoxious ringtones. I am probably guilty of this with my ring, but I still am aware that I should answer it quickly and do not keep the ringer on in inappropriate situations except by accident (like when my sister called during orientation and the specific ring for her was "Girls Just Want to Have Fun").

I am sure there are millions of other tips, suggestions, and rules, but since I do not have the time nor the desire to discuss all things in my blog the aforementioned tips will suffice. Really, they're just common sense and manners like removing one's hat when in a building. Please be sure to follow them when around me or prepare for my wrath.

Underwhat?

Underwear - we all wear it. Well, most of us do. Even the lack of it is a choice. There's all different kinds - men's, women's, granny panties, tighty whities, thongs, and boxers. In 1992, a teenager even asked then presidential hopeful Bill Clinton if he preferred boxers or briefs. (He said he usually wears briefs.) A few years ago, Michael Jordan made boxer briefs a household item after his Hanes ad campaign. Britney Spears' lack of underwear made headlines a few months ago and her bare, er, bottom, spread across the internet.

While there are many, many choices of undergarment out there these days, many people are still guilty of walking around with a visible panty line. According to wikipedia, the first pop culture reference to the visible panty line (VPL) was in Woody Allen's film "Annie Hall." (And apparently the problem is very prominent in Asia.) People, that movie was made 30 years ago. It's time to get with the program and address the problem. You've got options.

While mostly a problem for women, it does affect some men too. To these men I say, go buy yourself a pair of boxers or boxer briefs.

For women, I suggest one of the following tactics:

First, opt to go sans underwear. Granted, if you're still guilty of walking around with a panty line, you're probably not going to opt to stop wearing underwear all together. I'm not saying it's the best solution, after all you might get caught like Britney, but it is the cheapest.

Second, those that find themselves guilty of sharing their panty line with the rest of us can also opt for boy shorts. There's more coverage, some guys think they're cute, and you're less likely to have a rigid line under paints or a skirt.

Finally, the thong. You know that article of clothing that Sisqo sang about back in the day. (I'm not advocating showing, by the way.) Thongs are the oldest form of underwear - just ask the primitive peoples of yore. They're the fastest selling form of women's underwear in the United States. Some people complain that they're uncomfortable - get over yourself. You must be trying on the most god awful underwear if you think that. Sure if it's the wrong size you're gonna be picking material out of your butt all day, but if you're old enough to know what a thong is you should be old enough to pick out the right size. There are even companies such as Hanky Panky that claim to have the most comfortable thongs ever made and have the celebrity clientèle to back them up.

So the next time you see a friend that looks as if she (or he) is going to cut off her butt circulation because of her underwear, let her know there is a solution. Throw out the bad underwear!

I turn to Chris Rose

Because I can't write it as eloquently or as well as he can, I turn to Chris Rose to give a sense of how I've been feeling lately. All of his columns can be found here on nola.com. When you have some free time, I really suggest reading some of the columns he wrote in the days and months immediately following Hurricane Katrina. You can still read them at nola.com, but they've even been compiled in a book called 1 Dead in Attic. Just make sure you have some tissues handy. By the way, I read this article on Friday and saw We are Marshall Saturday afternoon before the I watched the Saints game. That may or may not have something to do with why I cried all throughout the movie, and defiitely has some reason behind my excitement leading up to the game Saturday night. Anyways, I give you Chris Rose and really do urge you to go read his columns. And someone please buy me 1 Dead in Attic because I don't know if I can bring myself to actually buy it.

"Rage and Sympath in the city of Brotherly Love" (01/12/2007 about the Saints v. Eagles playoff game)

That said, the Katrina factor is definitely a part of the vibe of discussion in the buildup to the contest. In a story that stretched across the top of the front page of The Philadelphia Inquirer on Wednesday, sports columnist Phil Sheridan wrote:

"The happy, sappy tale of feisty Jeff Garcia leading the Eagles to the playoffs can't compete with the epic, back-from-catastrophe story of the New Orleans Saints. . . . The happy, sappy tale of the feisty Saints giving their devastated city something to believe in is irresistible for the national media. This is worth saying because the Eagles, through no fault of their own, find themselves in the role of villain in this fairy tale." . . .

I don't know who's got the better team. I don't even know who's got the better fans or better city; all in all (if you don't count the sports-talk callers) Philly was pretty nice, especially if you like cheese steaks, and I do.

But I do know that our storyline is better; there's never been a sports story quite like it.

And I pray to God there never is one again, anywhere.

Sleeping

Yesterday I wrote an entire blog about my parents and then myspace ate it! Grrrr . . . . Seeing as how there is no way I will be able to remember it or write it as well as yesterday, I'm throwing out that topic and moving on to this one: sleeping.

I'm not talking about just any kind of sleeping. For this blog, I mean a guy and a girl. Hanky panky does not apply to this topic - just sleeping. Ok, now that I've made that clear, here's my issue, my question, my conundrum - whatever you want to call it . . .

Do all guys take a class on how to sleep with a girl? Really, it's a question. Well, maybe not the taking a class part, but how is it that all guys sleep in the same position when there's a girl asleep next to them. If you think I'm crazy, I'll explain.

Somehow guys have the ability to lay on their backs with one arm stretched out basically to hold a girl's head (whether it be in the nook of his shoulder or further out, I don't really care). I learned from a friend that this position was designed so that girls can sleep and guys can still flip through the channels on the tv. I'm assuming it evolved from caveman needing to hold a club during the night to protect his loved ones.

Here's the thing - this position is not comfortable for us girls. A guy's arm does not compare to our favorite pillow. Not only that, but we worry that our heads are too heavy on your arm too - not in the "I'm feeling fat" way we worry, but in the "Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds" way.

Now I realize that everyone sleeps differently and that every couple sleeps differently together, but I really want to learn how all guys know how to sleep this way. While it may seem there's not much of a difference, and I know that my sleeping habits are odd compared to most, I want my arm under my head. Not only that, but I sleep with a stuffed dog every night held tight under my arm (don't judge me). Where does that leave me if there may be someone else there? Very fidgety.

Anyways - At least I have one reason as to why guys sleep that way: to still have the use of one hand for whatever he may want. Oh, and I also learned the reason guys wear hats: to check out cleavage without being noticed. Note to guys: we know we have cleavage and we know you're checking it out with or without a hat - just make eye contact every once in a while.

And then it was 2007

I haven't written a blog in a while, and I feel like it's time. Let me start by saying, I'm not entirely sure where this one is going so get ready for some rambling.

I finished my first semester of grad school in December. I wish I could say that I am older and wiser for taking two years off after I graduated from college and that I improved my study habits, but that would just be a lie. I procrastinate just as much now as I ever did. Fortunately I have not had five papers due in six days nor have I started any the night before they were due, but I did write seventy pages in one week. (I did write reading responses two hours before they were due, but those don't count.) Anyways - enough about 2006.

I went to Taylor Grocery and Graceland Too on Friday night. It was definitely an experience. Taylor Grocery is a litte hole in the wall place even further in the middle of nowhere than my current residence. Not only that, but it's in a dry county. Silly Mississippi. Don't you people know by now that having a dry county will not stop your residents from drinking. It won't even stop people from drinking in the county. Craziness. Anyways, I had catfish for the first time in my life. That might not be entirely true, but it's the first time I remember it. It was good and the company was even better. I still prefer sushi (over fried catfish, not my friends). After dinner, we headed to Holly Springs - still the middle of nowhere but closer to Memphis - to go to Graceland Too. I am one third of the way to becoming a life time member at Graceland Too. There are not words to describe Paul's (the owner) fanaticism. Let's just say he's a little crazy. He had a business proposition for Adam to make me or Becca marry his son and then get half of all his money. Yup folks, I may become a Mississippi bride afterall. The night ended at City Grocery back in the middle of nowhere followed by Chicken-on-a-Stick. I'd just like to point out that I have taken two people's Chicken-on-a-Stick virginity in the last week. That's right, both Becca and Adam have lived in the middle of nowhere for six months and neither had Chicken-on-a-Stick til last week.

Plans for 2007 - I've got two weddings planned thus far. Both brides have the same name just spelled differently. I do get to be a bridesmaid in one, and I'm just gonna tell you right now that I make one hot bridesmaid. I've seen the dress I get to wear, and I'll be irresistable. That being said, I've still started a wedding workout. I've treadmilled (yes, I did just make that word a verb) twice in the last three days. Go me. Pilates will start back up when I have money. 2007 will the year I go from hot to hottt. That's right, hottt. I've also realized that since moving to the middle of nowhere I have become very sedentary. Not only does this habit make me really bored, but it also is very unhealthy. I know it's cliche to say that I'm going to get healthy and lose weight so close to the new year, but this is more of a lifestyle change than a new year's resolution. You can give up a resolution, but you can't give up a lifestyle.

I'm also going to start reading the books I'm supposed to for class. That may seem like a given considering I'm in grad school, but procrastination often gets the best of me. The worst part is that it's procrastination doing nothing.

Hmm - enough rambling for now.