Knights vs. Rosie the Riveter

At some point on every Sunday I peruse the New York Times wedding section (online, of course). Each week a new couple is featured. They're always glamorous in some sort of way--not your average, everyday kind of couple. I'm not sure when I started reading the wedding announcements, but I continue because I'm a hopeless romantic. I may not seem like the hopeless romantic type, but deep down I am.

Ugh. Society send conflicting messages about what we, American women, should want. One message is that a knight in shining armor will come and save us from singledom. We, me and my knight in shining armor, will happily ever after. The second message is that we, women, do not need anyone to save us. That we are independent and happy without a romantic someone in our lives; we don't need Jerry Maguire's you complete me thoughts. There are definitely women that fall into one category are the other, but I fall somewhere in the middle which is completely frustrating. I don't think a man will save me from myself, but I do want one to woo me. Someone who won't complete me per se, but rather compliment me.

Bah. Sometimes it is hard to continue believing that I will find the right someone, the person I want. Alas, I try. Last week I had a dream that I got engaged. I don't think I ever saw my fiance's face, and if I did I don't know him. (I do remember that the ring was not my taste--very superficial of me, I know.) Last night I dreamt that I was getting married to someone I didn't know (both in real life and in my dream). Like the engagement dream, the man was not my focus. (This time it was the dress.) Obviously I'm not ready to be married. Nor do I have plans to be married in the near future. I'm just missing something right now, and whether it seems good or bad I think it's more of a someone than a something.

Bleh. I hate feeling out of control, but I want to be able to let go. As if that makes any sense.