Sometimes you have one of those weeks

After almost 6 months, things with FD3 have come to an end. In January, when he said we were in different places in the relationship I thought he meant I was more invested and he was just "behind." It turns out that is not what he meant. Instead, he was done and I wasn't ready to let go. The worst part is that the few weeks after that were some of the best. I suppose I still knew the end was coming.

Logically, I'm fine. Emotionally, I'm still a bit of a mess. There's pretty much no way to take it except personally when someone tells you they don't see a future in something. Why not? What's wrong with me? What did I do? Yeah, I know it's not my fault. Doesn't help. Like I said, logically I'm fine. I know it's that we're not right together. That we can still be friends. That there are other guys. That I won't be alone forever. That I deserve better. Still sucks.

We awkwardly saw each other once so far after the break up. He brought the stuff I left at his place to my office. Not the most ideal place for trading stuff. It was made even worse by the fact that I was having one of the most stressful weeks of work ever and that my dog was put to sleep the day before. That's right, work was hell, my boyfriend and I broke up, and my childhood dog died all within the same week. And then I got sick. I think it was my bodies way of letting go for just a bit - stop thinking and stop pushing or you'll get really sick.

I'll be ok soon. I just need some time to grieve a bit and feel sorry for myself. I have friends to lean on, and I've definitely been leaning. I just feel like I've lost one the ones I want to lean on.