1979

A week or so ago, I woke to find a new message from a potential suitor.

Hi,

I lived in Lake City, Camden, Columbia, and Lexington. Worked at [Insert Software Company Name here] for 12 1/2 years, until AT&T's hostile take-over.

Just wanted to say hello and wish you the best in the Big City. I am happy to see an intelligent, caring Southerner is doing well there.

Have you noticed that people ask you dozens of questions, all the time?
It is not because they want or need the answers. They just want to keep you talking, because they like to hear us talk.

J

1. He's 63 and lives in Freehold, NJ with his mother. I don't know where Freehold is, but I imagined it was full of creepy old guys. It turns out that Bruce Springsteen is from the neighboring town, and Freehold has it's very own reality show: Jersey Couture.

2. One of his pictures is from 1979 which is before I was born. All of the pictures (including the one from 1979) are of a creepy old guy. He looks like he sells fireworks in some stand by the road except that I don't think they sell fireworks in NJ.

3. SC - The guy used to live in many places in SC. I looked Lake City up on a map, and, you may have guessed this, there's not a lake. Not this guy's fault, but weird none the less. Camden is a cute little town full of horses. While most places get excited about the Kentucky Derby, we get excited about the Carolina Cup and the Colonial Cup which both take place in Camden. Additionally, it should be known that Columbia = capitol and Lexington = redneck.

4. And this the best and perhaps creepiest part of his message. My parents, as in both of them, worked at [Insert Software Company Name here]. Not for a month, not for a year. We moved to SC when I was 4 months old in 1983 for my parents jobs; however, they had been working for [Insert Software Company Name here] since 1977. In 1988 we moved to Orlando for 2 years for my dad's job. We moved back to Columbia two years later for my mom's job which was just in time for AT&T's "hostile take-over." My parents survived the hostile takeover and continued to work there for many more years even once it became [Insert Software Company Name here] again. Neither of them work their any more, but that was a development in the 2000s. Sure, it's very possible that my parents didn't know this guy or work with this guy, but it's also possible that they knew of him or worked in conjunction with him.

Here's his picture . . . his profile picture to be more specific . . . from 1979 . . . not kidding even a little bit.

Illegal Immigrants

I'm not quite sure where to begin except to say that all the hoopla surrounding illegal immigrants needs to stop. It's really disturbing to the way some people view those they don't think should be in the United States.

The recent list that was sent to law enforcement and media outlets in Utah is appalling: names, DOBs, social security numbers, due dates of pregnant women.

Unless you're the direct descendant of an American Indian (and I'm not talking about if you're 1/8 Indian), you're the descendant of immigrants. So your family fought in the Revolutionary War? Great! Thanks proving that your family moved here illegally. But they had permission to leave their original country? Oh, ok. Who'd they ask when they landed if they could stay here? The Indians? Yeah, I thought so

What? Your family moved here and came through Ellis Island? Awesome - so did mine. You think that makes your the descendant of legal immigrants? You're right, but only because the United States had different laws about immigration than they do now.

Illegal immigrants aren't taking away jobs. They're doing the jobs you don't want to do. Like cleaning chicken poop out of a chicken factory. Or picking fruit. Or making your fancy dinner at some fine dining restaurant.

Ugh. I'll get off my soap box now.

Phone Etiquette 101

True story from today . . .

 - Hi, this is Sarah calling from [blah, blah, blah], and I wanted to get some information on facility reservations for a conference we're having in September. Please give me a call when you have a chance at 212-555-5555 x549. Thanks.

Aww, crap. I left the wrong extension. [We changed phone systems at work this past spring. The main number stayed the same, but we everyone in the organization got a new extension.]

 - Hi, this is Sarah calling from [blah, blah, blah] again. I just realized I left you the wrong number to reach me. My actual number is 212-555-5555 x11106. Thanks again.

[I look at my phone.] Oh my God. My extension is 11103! 11106 is my zip code!!! Please, please, please don't tell me I've been giving out the wrong extension for the last few months. [Checks a reservation form.] Oh no. Oh no. I e-mailed them too, so the contact info should be correct. [Checked my e-mail signature] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. My e-mail signature has the wrong number in it! Oh my God! Oh my God!

[And there goes my day.]