. . .

Sometimes it comes true, that irrational fear that you just can't shake. Everyone says, "Oh, don't worry. That's not going to happen. You're gonna get it." And then you don't. It comes as an unexplainable shock, and you don't know what to do. Is it the end of the world? Rationally, you say no, but your irrationality proved true the first time.

So what now? Pick yourself up and move on. Of course, but it's a hell of a lot more difficult than what anyone says. I don't know what to do, and everyone has a suggestion but I'm stubborn. I need to figure it out for me. Where do I want to go; who do I want to be; what does it take to change?

It's not fun anymore.